Last Night I Dreamt I Went to Manderley Again...

Wait, that's something else entirely. I actually dreamt about blueberry waffles. I also dreamt about visiting a doctor whose office doubled as a general store. I also dreamt that we found out the baby is a girl. Yes, the crazy pregnancy dreams are still going full force.

Also going in full force is the baby's heartbeat which I got to hear today at my doctors appointment. Nothing is quite as lovely as that swooshing sound. A few nights ago, while watching an episode of The Big Bang Theory with Sean, I even felt the first little tiny flutters (clearly this baby appreciates nerd culture. If you don't watch that show, you should).

In three weeks we will find out the sex of the baby. It's funny because for the most part I really didn't care one way or the other. We've assumed it's a boy, so I've just been operating under that idea. However, now that the actual date of reveal is so close I'm feeling like HOW CAN I WAIT THREE WEEKS? The problem is that for the briefest of moments I allowed myself to ponder what it might be like to have a girl and now I'm totally frazzled and desperate to know one way or the other. We'll be happy either way and blah blah blah, but can you just imagine little pink dresses and bows?

As for my other, already confirmed boy child, he's been so wonderful lately. He's still having a blast at school and seems to be learning a lot. He can tell you the number of stars on our flag, the meaning of the word "symmetry" and is learning to use scissors. Yes, back in the day parents used to just let children learn to cut with scissors by supervising them but now we have to have school lessons around it. I'm not even joking, apparently so many kids were starting kindergarten with no idea how to use scissors that it's become an issue. Parents these days are wee bit overprotective perhaps?

He's also picking up some new phrases. Anytime I try to get him to do something he doesn't want to do he tells me I'm giving him a heart attack. He also loves to ask how everyone is doing. Each morning he asks "Daddy, how as work? Was work fun? Did you do a good job? Mommy, how was sleeping?". Adorable, but it does make me feel like a slacker. However, the one phrase that has us both blushing and laughing is "I'm sexy and I know it". He heard it in a song and it has stuck. He loves to tell us he's sexy and he knows it. The way I see it, he was bound to learn the word eventually. Sean and I don't swear in front of him but I have no problem telling Sean I think he's sexy and he has no problem returning the sentiment. Oh well. He knows the word is not okay for school and we figure that there are far worse things he could be saying.

I have to laugh when I think about it however. It was a line in a song and he immediately picked it up and there was no saving the situation. Maybe I'm a terrible mother for saying it but I laugh hysterically when he sings it. Oh, there's also a dance he's added to it. When my brother and I were kids we always listened to The Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and Queen when we were in the car with my dad and it must've been kind of hilarious to hear us singing along to Fat Bottom Girls. I would never have dreamed of singing it at school but you can bet we belted it out in the car. I'm hoping Aiden develops similar good judgement.

Bo is also sexy, he definitely knows it.

Snow Business

It's mid January already! I cannot believe it. We've spent the past couple of weeks recovering from the holidays and getting back into the daily grind. It hasn't felt much like the heart of winter since there hasn't been any snow, and I've been sharing this sentiment with anyone who would listen, until of course it snowed.

Aiden and I took full advantage of the white stuff and spent the morning making a snowman and throwing snowballs. For the rest of the day I was exhausted beyond belief. Running in snow is hard.

I am this excited for snow!

FINALLY!

So is shoveling it. Apparently it's not considered helpful to quote the statistic on the number of people who have heart attacks while shoveling as your husband is about to go out and shovel. Also, I found this fantastic fur and leather hat (no, that's not his hair, it's the fur) tucked up in the hall closet. He actually agreed to wear it while outside and he said it was the warmest hat he's worn. Also, I love it because it really brings out the Mongolian and Russian in him. He's so adorable in it, but he didn't really want a picture, thus the closed eyes.
I know you're probably wondering where you too can find an authentic fur and leather hat such as this but alas, this one is truly vintage.

Also, every day that passed after Christmas had me cursing the gigantic pile of toys collecting behind the couch and spilling out of the existing storage bins, so I finally went out and picked up new ones. Aiden helped me sort and toss, and now it's slightly more manageable.

The before:

The After:

So, that's our January so far. Snow and storage bins and a hat. We northeasterners really have to stretch the limits of "entertainment" when it gets into the winter months.

New Beginnings

So, since I didn't record anything about my pregnancy with Aiden, I want to make an effort this time. Sean and I really didn't tell anyone until Christmas, and even before then we didn't talk much about it to each other out of nervousness. Finally telling people has felt very strange, almost uncomfortable, because it really makes it real. It definitely hasn't really sunk in yet and still seems very tentative, at least to me, so I'm waiting for that moment when it kind of becomes real.

It's funny but things feel so different this time around. When I was pregnant with Aiden it never occurred to me that anything might go wrong. I had some worries but they were more about labor and less about something happening to the baby. Also, I was getting up at 4:30am to work a full day before sitting in class for three hours, so you know, I didn't exactly have time to think of everything that might go wrong. This time however, I'm constantly coming back to the same worries about miscarrying. We've had to deal with some related issues in the past few months, so in some ways they're legitimate worries, but even after my doctor assured me ten times over that everything is going swimmingly, I still worry. What can I say, I'm a World Champion Black Belt Worrier.

One thing not helping the worry are my constant nightmares! They involve crazy, unrealistic scenarios and yet I wake up in a panic and feel off-kilter for quite a while. The upside is that apparently the more nightmares you have during pregnancy, the less likely your are to suffer from postpartum depression. Who knows how accurate that is but here's hoping there's some benefit to them!

There are even more little details that I'm finding different from the first. With Aiden I was starving all the time and I couldn't get enough steak and milk. I'm not a big red-meat eater and I don't drink milk, so that was strange. Now it's fruit. I'm craving mangoes, watermelon, cherries, oranges and anything else in the produce section. Still not crazy about milk or meat. However, in general I'm not very hungry (which I'm sure will change in the next few weeks).

Another difference is my belly! With Aiden I didn't start showing until I was about five months, and even then it was more of a "Is she pregnant or is that just cheeseburgers?" kind of bump. Right away this time my clothes were uncomfortable and by 12 weeks there was a bump. I suppose after the first your body just doesn't hold it all in quite the same. Nevertheless, it's nice to actually look pregnant rather than just bloated. I've just had to go shopping for some actual maternity clothes as I opened my box of maternity clothes from last time and discovered I had two tank tops, a pair of jeans and a pair of Capri pants. Whoops. Suddenly I remembered that I borrowed almost everything. Luckily with the after Christmas sales I'm pretty much stocked up and for very little money which was nice!

So now for the ultra unflattering bathroom lighting shot:

14 Weeks